As my husband and I were deciding whether or not to have a child, I delved deep into the land of the Mommy Blogger looking for help deciding whether or not it was worthwhile to have children.
I heard, repetitively, permutations of the same answer: Having a child will be the biggest challenge in your life, and also the biggest joy. Or words to that effect.
At the time my decision-making was in a state of equipoise. I was equally certain both that I wanted children and that I would never have them.
I hated that sentiment. Consider: if, universally, having a child is the hardest and the most joyful thing a person (usually a woman, in the blogosphere -- very seldom did I hear this sentiment from a man) could ever do -- what does that say about people living without children?
Does that mean that their joy is less? That their challenges are less? I especially hated the common corollary statement: "you don't know what love is until you've had a child." Does that mean people without children don't understand love?
I found the statement nonsensical and offensive.
And then I had a baby.
I still find it nonsensical and offensive.
